It's me again, listening to anime BGM just to relax my tensed up mind and body, while 'doing' psyc homework...... I constantly got distracted and also have to constantly distract myself, so to keep myself on this thorny path of psychology...
Last week, I thought I was finally getting a sense from the reading and imagined myself liking social psyc more....that was until this morning, before I listened to the online lecture about Automaticity. I couldn't get a fuck of what the lecturer was trying say =.= I just can't understand why these are so difficult for me... not necessarily in terms of contents, it is also hard to fight my stiff mind from hating psychology without even trying a little step.
I love my linguistics and languages subjects no matter how hard they are, I still can find the will to continue even when they made my cry with all those assignments. But why not psychology? Why I just couldn't get myself to give it a chance? It's not just painful but also exhausting me, those efforts to reduce internal dissonance...
ok, enough for all this shit
I am actually quite impressed that I can write the above paragraphs to express my inner, emotional thoughts in English! I used to be so afraid of this language just a few years ago, but now I can do all these in English. After being reminded about my improvements in English, I thought I could give it a try, and I also need to express all the shit about psychology, so... here goes this post.
I really hope that I can develop self confidence by myself, not based on marks on the papers or others' comments. However, until today I am still reaching out to define myself....
Hopefully my Japanese can improve like my English, then maybe I can write something like this post in the near future (2 years?)
