self talk

早上日文课的时候听了朋友的建议，茫茫然上完课（日文比想象中渣），强迫自己做完一半的功课（明天交啊啊啊），现在脑子在朝我喊“我得跟谁聊一聊！”

可是这个时间男朋友在上课（我太依赖了……），跟家人聊非我所欲，跟朋友聊没意思，跟辅导员聊……（别傻了）。所以聪明如我，就在这里出现啦~

ok, the suggestion I got is to do Chinese courses as part of the International Communication Major. Actually before this I am already wondering should I or shouldn't I complete a Chinese Major in Australia...althought I do learn a lot in Chinese classes here, many skills which will benefit my career in the future, but...these are not quite close to what I expect for a Chinese Major (of course, coz you r in a western country lol)

What I could actually get the most out of are from International Communication courses, and I do find myself very interested in some of the contents =)

Then why am I contemplating now?

firstly, I completed a compulsory course (Modern Chinese 6) for Chinese Major last semester, which the course was easy af for me zzz (still didnt fucking get 100) This would go to a waste if I dont do a Chinese Major...I mean...why t f I did that course then?

secondly, I really want to learn some proper Japanese, I really wish i can speak good Japanese after these...and my elective slots are running out soon...........what am I gonna do???

haiz...I will have to let go something...the first step should be giving up 4 (or less...)chinese courses, to empty up spaces for the courses I am interested (and worth learning). then, I will have to choose between Chinese and Japanese. Some will say "what else do you still need to think, the answer is so fucking obvious!" of course is japanese. yaya...alright then...

so, as to compensate my love for Chinese, I promise myself I will definitely do my postgrad and research in Taiwan.One day...not in the near future...(stupid JPA)

just some notes...

这篇是之前就一直想放的，是我写给ta的信，在遗憾发生时之前的……

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This is my second week of semester 2 now. Things went very well initially, I was very happy that I can take the courses I like this semester. (I took cross-cultural communication, japanese beginner course, literary chinese and chinese-english interpreting)

However, things are not going smoothly starting from this week....I started my application to change major with my sponsor too late...and I took it too lightly last time. I thought I can start doing the courses I like this semester, but the academic advisor in ANU said it is better to play safe and still take 1 first year psychology to secure my scholarship, since my sponsor has not approve my request to change major to international communication.

If I don't take that psyc course this semester, there is no way I can graduate with a psyc major in 3 years time as scheduled by my sponsor. I was forced to consider to drop cross-cultural communication this semester... The bright side will be, I can take this course again next year, and my plan to do an international communication major would not be affected by this change. Everyone around me suggested that it is better to play safe and to buy some time for my application to process with this move....

Although the classes started last week, which means I missed maybe 2 weeks of psyc lectures, but I am lucky enough that the labs are starting in week 3. I will have to email and explain my situation to the course convenor of psyc so to get a lab time, because the labs are pretty full now...
As for the cross-cultural communication course, some of my seniors advised me to do it in my later year because it is a demanding course for a first year. (I try to convince myself as I am writing all these...)

It sounds like a good plan to swap these 2 courses, isn't it? But I feel very down and very sad since yesterday I had a chat with the academic advisor... I had planned my timetable for this semester nicely, prepared for the courses, tried to enjoy cross-cultural communication although it is hard...

If I really need to swap, I know it is the earlier the better, as I still need to catch up and email psyc lecture and stuffs... But I am still contemplating, I find it so hard to let go the current plan...

Sorry that this email is so negative. I really need to talk to someone about this. I tried to book an appointment with counselling centre, but their slots filled up quickly, I will try again tommorrow morning. I need them to write a support letter to put extra weight onto my request to change major. Malaysian government takes their letter seriously.

Hope I would not cause much trouble to you by sending this email. I will find a way out myself, but it is good to have someone to write to.

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好吧，之前写的时候觉得英文进步了我也被称赞啦，但现在重读还是觉得我英文很渣 =.=

到底还要写多少才会进步啊啊啊~

希望明天有空把上个暑假写的放上来。